I wanted to let it go, I wanted to free myself.  But here I am once again. I got caught, my knees started to tremble and my hands seem to have lost all its grip. I got the faint feeling in my chest. I’m running away, once again.

I’ve been feeling distant to myself lately. I’ve developed a daily routine that I’ve grown to suddenly despised. Day by day, the energy and strength I’ve contained for others to perceived have drained all happiness in me. I’m at a lost. Getting up, fulfilling all existence has made me bring myself to the farthest corner of the world. I don’t know what matters anymore, I’ve created a monster in me that’s only waiting for the right moment in time. I’m at the edge of all goodness, vulnerable to all lies. Maybe, just maybe, if I completely stop showing the good in me, just maybe then, they’ll start to notice. That when the non-existent in their eyes no longer cared, they’ll dropped everything that mattered, stop all time and look for her back. Then maybe she’ll know that there’s so much more there is to be in her place.